When I first started talking to him it was instant love. In a month, a week, a day, a second. It all happened so fast. I thought it was a weak insecure shallow love. True, but with not much past, not much foundation.
We've been dating for five months.
Within a week of dating we declared we were in love.
Within a month of us first talking, we started dating.
But it was so much more than that.
When it started two years ago, I didn't know it. I didn't even know half of it until recently. I was a little 8th grader going into highschool. I didn't know anyone. My friend, who was going into his sophomore year, invited me to a end of the summer party. We knew each other from orchestra and he wanted me to get to know another cellist, who was going into her junior year. I first saw him there. I thought he was gorgeous and I couldn't get those eyes out of my head. He flirted with me but I knew it was all a joke to him. My friend has warned me about him. I was so frustrated and angry and by the time the party was over all I could do was sit on the front porch, away from everyone and wait for my mom to get me. He walked out the door and walked right by me. I swear my heart skipped a beat. As I watching him walk down the street all I wanted to do was run after him. I was just a silly little girl though, what would he ever want out of me?
I remember all during my freshman year I noticed him in the hallway. Those damn eyes would not get out of my head. I saw him with his girlfriend, laughing and smiling. I was jealous. Jealous all becaause of a guy I didn't know. It was stupid and embarrassing and didn't make sense... I knew I'd never get my chance to be her.
Then during the olph festival, (Which is during the beginning of the summer. A Catholic school runs it asa fundraiser.. it's kinda a big deal.) I saw him there. Him and his friend wearing pink cowboy hats walking around. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. One of my friends was in his little group, So I'd go over and talk to her only because I hoped he'd notice me. Even though I was with another guy, All I could think about was him. I knew my little creepy crush had to end. He didn't notice me. He didn't want me. I had to forget it.
Then, my junior friend who I met at the party worked out at a boyscout camp with him over the summer. She'd call me and stuff when she was with him. I ended up texting him not and then but nothing too much. We were both told ABSOLUTELY NOTHING was going to go on between us.
Towards the end of the summer we started hardcore texting and I fell for this kid... HARD. I tried to stop myself, tried not to get my hopes up. But I couldn't help it. It was a dream come true. Then I saw him the first day of school, when he was going into his senior year, and I was going into my sophomore year. My face was tomato red, my hands hands were shaking, my stomach was in knots to the point that I thought I might puke.. I walked right to him (surprisingly without falling...) got on my toes and hugged him. I swear time froze. I can remember that moment perfectly.
Thing is, I though all of that was my creepy school girl crush.
Apparently, at the party he wanted to talk to me. But he was told I was off limits. That's why he fake flirted.
And all during the year he noticed me too, and was super jealous when I started dating a kid he was in band with.
And the the olph festival, he was with a guy who knew my brother. So when he said he walked to talk to me, he was told it'd be weird since I'm my brother's little sister. But he noticed me, and he wanted to talk to me.
Then during the summer he hardcore fell for me.
For two years this has been building up and neither of us knew it.
Think about it. How many times have you ever had that weird crush on someone and you just can't get it out of your head.
What if that was something like this?
It's a crazy thing to think about... All the chances we had, all the little things that held us back. Adn someone we still found each other? You can't tell me that's chance.
That's fate.
The roots weren't as shallow as I thought.
They've been slowly growing all along.
♥
